When My “Eminem” Day(s) Arrived

Cleaning out my closet (and everything else instead)

You know the feeling I’m talking about. You finally have some free time and you’re all alone in the house. You decide - it’s time. I’m going to start cleaning out my closets.

Maybe it starts like this:

Find perfect “Closet Cleaning” playlist on Spotify.
Make some sort of alcoholic beverage because, well, you’re probably going to need it.
Perhaps you even have some semblance of a plan and an idea of how you will sort things into piles.

It’s exciting! I’m doing this thing! I can’t wait to see what my closets will look by the end of the day!

Something very interesting happens the moment you start pulling clothes out of a closet like this.

We moved into the cottage early in 2022 and since I was emptying a full home and bringing 8 years of stuff with me, that also included clothes that I had stashed away as my “I MIGHT fit into this one day; I should save it!” collection.

I had my 2014–2016 era — weight up, weight down, and too sad to care.

2017? Puffy. We don’t talk about 2017.

2018 and 2019… now those were excellent vintages.

Bring on 2020. ‘Nuff said. Workouts stopped. Food prepping stopped. Clothes got bigger or simply became clothes with elastic waistbands

Suffice to say - when I pulled all of my clothes out of the closet and threw them on my bed to start ‘assessing’, a few things happened.

I realized that some of my smaller clothes weren’t too far off fitting me again (2026 is MY year, I swear!). Problem is - what was fashionable in 2018 would garner a simple “Mom…no” from my daughter. So there’s that.

It would also send me off on a tangent of grabbing my laptop, going into old photos to gaze longily at pictures of me wearing said outfit. And then I would see a necklace that I don’t remember seeing for a long time and off I go on my search of the entire upper floor looking for that necklace.

Along the way, I find a shopping bag that has old notebooks from work and some cards that I had received after my Mom passed away so I took a few minutes (okay… it was 1.5 hours) reading them again along with reviewing notes from meetings I had 4 years ago because, you know, that’s relevant to this task.

So yes, my broken attention span and love of nostalgia caused a few minor breaks in my schedule. Fine. It’s been 4 days.

I have one huge pile of ‘throw this out because no one would ever be caught dead in this’ and several piles of ‘these are nice and maybe someone could love them again but if your daughter saw you in them…. it’s a “Mom… no.”

Somewhere between the distractions, the nostalgia, and the fourth “quick break”… something shifted.

And something really cool came from all of this.

I DID get two closets cleared and organized.
I accomplished what I set out to do.
I tried on almost every item and looked at myself in the mirror.

For someone who tends to turn the other way when she walks by a mirror - that’s huge for me. I stood, turned, turned the other way, and said “you know what? I couldn’t even do this up last year! That’s something, right?” (and yes, I talked to myself ALOT during this task).

What’s changed?

I met Keith at the start of the pandemic when I was probably at my worst (they called it the Covid 20 but was it only 20?!?).

Six years later and I’m retired and able to focus on my health. My days are my own. I’m filling my cup with what brings me joy so my weight/physical appearance has become less of a focus. That’s not to say that I’m not giving it attention because I certainly am. But I no longer worry about what OTHERS think of me. And I no longer change outfits 5 times because I hate the way I look in the mirror.

And somewhere along the way… something changed.

I stopped focusing on what I thought I should look like…
and started appreciating the life I was actually living.

I love myself.
I love my life.

Cleaning out my closets started as a chore and morphed into something else.

It gave me time to sit with my memories and appreciate all that I’ve lived through.
It let me see myself in the mirror the way the people in my life already saw me.
It motivated me to tackle the next closet.

I can’t wait to see what’s behind door #3.

Until next time, may a small wave of inspiration find you.